I'm Getting WHAT as a present?
by remi neko chan
Summary: Huh? What do you mean I ordered this! I did no such thing! This is all Mari's fault isn't it?...What? And I have to keep ALL of them in my house! Oh great...*Based on Lollidictator's Manuals* Not an OC/Character fic. ON HIATUS! Look inside for details
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey~ The people who reviewed on my other story, thank you so much! And to those who didn't review, just faved or added an alert, thanks for that to! But I really want to know what you think! So I'm not really in the mood to write anymore of that. I have this horrible cough and sore throat that's been on my case for 3 days now *not amused* So until I feel better...I read some Of Lollidictator's manuals on the nation's and my friends have been bugging me to do a story with them in it for a while -_-; so yeah. ONCE AGAIN MY INTERNET IS HAVING A FIT AND I AM NOT HAPPY :C ...so untill I get that fixed (next week *forced smile*) I shall be working on this and maybe chapters 2-3 for my other story *smiles* so enjoy~

Disclaimer: This goes for this chapter and all through to the end! I don't own Hetalia. Nor do I own the Hetalia Manuals. Those belong to the awesome Lollidictator! Go read them! NOW! :3

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"REMI~! Where were you yesterday? I was so worried!"

"I was sick...This is were I wonder why I'm friends with you."

The blonde that I was currently talking to (more like she was being over dramatic and I was just there along for the ride) stopped screaming in my ear. She looked lost for a second and just stared at me. Of course this would seem strange to some, but this was just normal behaviour for us. Uh...I guess I should say who 'us' is right? Yeah so let's pause for a quick sec...

Right. So my name is Jasmine Sierra. You can call me Remi...most people do anyway due to the _sheer number _of Jasmine's out there. Can you feel the sarcasm? Anyway! I'm short, a ginger, Puertorican and British (My mom's from Puerto Rico while my dad's from England. I was born here in America), and my eye color is blue. Not the pretty sparkling blue eyes other girls are born with! No...Mine are more blueish grayish then actual blue. (Mom says I have dad's eyes). Um, I'm fourteen (and in middle school. Next year is High School!) And if by now you haven't noticed (which you should! Stay focused!) I tend to ramble on a lot...When ever I actually talk...I'm not really that much of a 'social butterlfy' as my friends are. I live practically in the middle of nowhere (not really though! Just my neighbor hood is very tight. So secrets get out often.)...Which sucks 'cause I live where if you know someone's secret, and you go ahead and tell everyone at school the next day (not that _I_ have done anything like that!)the the whole town shall know by the next day. So yeah...As my mom always said! 'Keep your enemies closer so that you can stab them later.' Uh...yeah, my mom was always kinda weird.

Okay enough about me! Next is the excited blonde next to me (who has now given up and gone quiet..._Never_a good sign) is Maritzelle. Just call her Mari. Not 'Mary'! MAH-DEE! She gets really ticked if you pronounce her nickname wrong. _After_she just told you her name. As I said before, she's blond (and not ditzy!...Okay maybe sometimes) blue-eyed, and is my self-proclaimed 'bestest buddie in the whole universe!' Her words not mine! Even though I'm only younger by a year, she's taller then me by inches. (I'm five foot. She's five foot eight...Damn genes) Not only that, she also acts a lot younger than me...

Okay I think that's enough info for now yes? Yeah...Let's just keep going. Onward!

"Mari?" No answer. "...Mari? Are you alright?" Still no answer. Was she really mad at me? But that's how I treat her all the time since second grade!...Maybe she's tired of it? Oh damn...I should apologi-wait...what's that sound?

"...haha...ahaha~"

She...she's faking it! Alright, I'll play your game!

"You idiot! I was really worried I hurt your feelings! You shouldn't play with people's emotions like that! How many times have I told you to _not_do that! You never listen to me! I seriously am questioning our friendship at this moment-" A shadow fell over me. Oh shi-

"Well, well, well...What have we got here? Ms. Sierra?" Oh gosh no...That would be my six foot tall history teacher, Mr. Walker. He always pokes fun at me for my height. Tch...god damned bastard.

"Mr. Walker! She hurt my feelings!" WHAT...you _traitor_...

"Oh did she now? What have you got to say for yourself shorty?" Dammit...

"I didn't do anything, I _swear_! She's faking!" And why is everyone else just staring? Do something! Anything!...Ah hell...

"Well class, what should we do with Tiny Tina here?" ...Tiny Tina? Like Tiny _Tim_? Does that count as holiday spirit? Sheesh Walker...You're losing you touch, no?

"Toss her out of class!" I.

"Make her clean the class room!" HATE.

"Give her extra homework!" YOU.

"Give her a green-slip!" ALL.

"Fail her!" Mari?

"As all of those are _excellent_ suggestions, we have start class about...now." As soon as Walker said now, the bell rang. Saved by the bell much?...That sounded _way_ to cheesy.

* * *

After History class ended, I gathered my stuff and headed out the door. Mari followed after me. She was going on about how that three minutes of awesomeness was the most awesome thing ever next to Prussia-wait...As in _Hetalia_ Prussia?

"You mean Prussia from Hetalia right?"

"Of course Remi! Who else is more awesome then Prussia?" Oh what am I going to do with this girl...You'll probably see me saying that a lot...

"No one."

"Exactly! Now come on! Let's get to homeroom now! Then...THE WEEKEND!" Several people walking in the hall looked our way. Huh...they must not be used to the easily excited/impressed/spazy blond. Must be new here. Then again, we don't really get a lot of new people here. As I said, this is a community in the middle of _nowhere_. I was serious.

"Yeah...hey you're coming to my house for the weekend right?" I hope she was

She just laughed and nodded going on about how we should use a taxi to go to Walmart and get some awesome snacks. I guess I should elaborate on how much I want her to stay over yeah? Well, I'm kinda freaked out by staying by myself in my house. Not that it's creepy or in the wrong part of town! Just...It gets kinda lonely by myself. See, I don't really know my dad (other than he still wants to be my father, but I can't forget that he left my mom when she got pregnant with me) and my mom's always gone. My relatives aren't in the state, and I'm not really that outgoing. So I have a really small group of friends that I can trust. And Mari's been my friend since elementary...She's like the little sister I never had. Tch...I'm getting emotional now...Better stop before-

"Hey Remi? You 'kay? Ya look kinda sad." Damnnit Mari...why can't you be oblivious now?

"Ah...I'm fine! Just thinking, that's all..."

"...I love you y'know?" She pulled me towards her. My binder being smashed between our chests.

"Y-yeah...Love you too." Does this affection seem off to you? That's only 'cause we are _really_ close...Not that close!...uh...we _were_...not anymore though! We only see each other as sister's now. Awkward much?

BRRRIIINNNG!

Aw shit...Way to ruin the moment stupid bell! N-Not that there _was_ a moment...wait...BELL?

"Ohmaigosh we are so gonna be late for home room!" I tore myself out of Mari's embrace and ran towards our homeroom.

"..." Why isn't she coming? Why does she look so...lost?

"Come on!" The lost look soon replaced itself with the happy-go-lucky look I know.

"Right! Race ya there!" She sprinted right past me!

"Hey! No fair Ms. Track Team!" Laughing, I took after her.

* * *

When the last bell of the day rang, Mari and I raced out of the class room. We sprinted to our sperate lockers, kicked them open, grabbed our stuff, and met up at the giant falcon painted on the floor of the main hallway. Other kids pushed past us, but we payed them no mind.

"Ready to go Rems?"

"Yep! I've got everything." We walked down the hallway, took a left, walked down a smaller hallway and pushed open the doors. A frigid wind blew against my cheeks, probably turning them a soft red color. Zipping up my long black coat I waited for Mari to lead the way as she always does. After all, I'm just a follower. Why isn't she moving? I turned to her only to see her staring at me with this small smile on her face...What?

"What? Is there something on me?"

"Huh?" Well that's the most intelligent response mankind ever invented.

"Oh forget!" With that I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the line of buses waiting to carry the kids home from school. I pulled her towards the right one and let go once we were infront of it. As I climbed up the steps, the bus driver decided to greet us...Tch...He talks? More like mumbled a bunch of words.

"'lo 'ere miss queenie! 'ow 're y' t'ay?" Yeah...just like that...

"Uh...I'm good thanks." Queenie? That was different from shorty, short-stuff, and most recently, 'Tiny Tina'. Mari just nodded with whatever he said next. We walked down the aisle, al the way to the back to where the eighth graders go. I plopped down in the seat first then Mari followed suit. As we waited for the other kids to climb on the bus too, Mari started complaining about the freezeing cold. It was kinda chilly in here now that she mentioned it.

"Hey Mari?"

"Yes Remi-chan?" Chan? Did she just say Remi-chan? N-no...just...no.

"What have I told you about using Remi-chan when you aren't even Japanese?"

"...Uh...Not to do it?"

"So _why_ did you do it?"

"'cause I _love _you!"

This is going to be a _long_ bus ride...

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End Notes: And that's it! I've already started on the second chapter so expect that soon~ And that's when the Hetalia characters start to show up. So how did you like it? I've written in first person before, but not that often. Good? Bad? Love it? Wanna slap me upside the head for it? Review Please!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm back~! (Not that I went anywhere...) Thank you so much for being so patient while I was being lazy. But now that we've had THREE snow days (and now it's the weekend when I'm posting it...damn I'm hard to motivate!) I was struck with inspiration...Er...this is supposed to be a 'Christmas' fic...Screw it :3 And this is WAY longer then I had planned out -_-; *nervous laugh* But a note to those reading this, there WILL be random updates...But if I say I'll have a chapter done by a certain date...it might be a day later. You might even get two chapters in a day! (depends on how I'm feeling and whatnot...)

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia obviously...But if I did, Canada would get more attention...That cute moe blob~ *laughs* Oh and the Hetalia Manuals belong to LolliDictator! They are awesome~

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Ugh...Did I mention that I _hate _riding the bus? It's just cramped and noisy and the damn fifth graders won't leave you the hell alone! The only reason I'm even on this stupid hunk of metal is because it's like Siberia out there! Not to mention that I live twenty minutes by foot. Tch...This is not okay! I'm not walking out there in the middle of winter! Although...I guess their is a good side to this. At least I have Mari with me. If that is a good side. Oh! It_ is_ winter. That means the holidays are coming up. Huh...I wonder what I should get my teachers...What? Of course I give my teachers something! They do have to put up with a bunch of immature, hormonal, idiots. It's just the right thing to do. I'll probably get them something like-

"Hey Remi?" Damn it Mari! Don't interrupt my inner monologue!

"Hm?"

"What do ya want for Christmas?" World Peace.

"Don't worry about me. You should focus your money on your family. Just drop by or gimmie a call or something." Mari just stared at me. Huh...This is the response I give her every year. It really shouldn't be a surprise to her. She always asks me and I always say the same thing. Although...It _would_be nice to get a present (or a call) from Dad...or have Mom home. Gah! Stop thinking such stupid thoughts!

With an exsaperated sigh, Mari looked down and looked at her boots. "That's what you say every year! I just want one year where you actually have-"

"A happy and festive Christmas!" I said in a whiny tone. I do a perfect Mari impression, yeah? "I think you should just stop asking me. I keep telling you and it's getting on my nerves! And besides, you always end up getting something that's really stupid. Like last year."

Mari looked up at me. "You mean the Snuggie?"

"Yeah the Snuggie." Most idiotic gift ever. Just get a damn blanket! Or go put on a sweater! It's not that hard people!

"But it looked cute on you!"

"And?"

With an over exaggerated gasp, Mari turned away and started talking to this brunette guy. "Do you hear this? Do you see how she treats me? So harsh! No love at all!" Poor brunette guy. I think he's a sevie...Tch. Mari don't make the guy confused. And stop going on about how I'm never nice to you!...The brunette guy's kinda cute-oh Mari's talking to me again.

"-so I'm just gonna sit next to..." Mari stopped and turned to the guy again. "Name?"

"I'm Mark. We have lunch together? I sit by you?"

"Yeah! Now I remember!" The expression on Mark's face said, 'You forgot?' "You always were nice to me! _Unlike someone over here._" Mari turned to glare daggers at me. Ha! Don't look at me Mari! You're one to talk! I still remember History class.

"If you two are so buddy-buddy with each other, then why don't you sit next to him?"

Mari just rolled her eyes and said, "Fine! I will! Move over Steve." This made me roll my eyes. You're hopeless Mari.

"Uh. It's Mark-"

"Who?" Canada!...Huh...guess I got Hetalia on the brain too...

"I did your homework for you too." Damn Mari...You really _are_ an idiot aren't you?

"Yeah yeah. Just scoot over."

So she's just gonna leave me for some cute brunette guy that she doesn't even know? Jeez Mari...I'm feeling the love you so often say you have for me. Huh? No! I'm not jealous at all! Anyway...I _still_need to know what I should get as my teacher's present. Let's see...There's my Math teacher Mrs. Hooper...Maybe...Gloves? A hat? Sweater?...Vodka?...That could work. And then there's Mrs. Groom my advanced studies language arts...She always told me she liked poetry, but what kind? Poe is always good. Mrs. Kimminau? My science teacher? Um...I'll just get her some candles or something...?...Even though he always teases me, he still is a great teacher...Pfft what am I _saying_? I shouldn't get him anything! But...Karma would come back and screw me over wouldn't it? Tch...I'll just get him a book or something...but what kind of book? Umm...Screw it! I'll just get him nothing! That'll teach him! Damn bastard.

"Hey Remi?" Oh it's Mari again.

"What?" She flinched. I didn't mean for it to come out that harsh. I'm still cursing Walker's soul in my head.

"Can...can you forgive me?" She gave me those teary eyes of hers. Tch...She _knows _I can't stay mad at her for long (the longest was probably a week). Sure I can hold a grudge (I still do with my father. That stupid Brit...) but she's just...different.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Sure whatever you idiot." Mari let out a small 'yay!' and left Mark to sit by me again. Poor Mark. He's probably just wondering what the hell just happened to him...I think only I could probably handle Mari being...well...Mari.

"I knew you could never stay mad at me! I'm just too lovable right Remi-chan?" _Again_with the chan?

"Do you want me to punch you in the face?"

She laughed, "You? Punch me? HA! You punch like a girl!" Idiot.

"I _am_ a girl."

"Oh really? Your chest says something different-GAH" I slapped her. Not in the face or anything that couldn't be covered with clothes. Just a slap upside the head which made her hit her head against the seat in front of us.

"You _really_ should learn to keep your mouth shut for once." She just whimpered and looked at me.

"You're so cruel to me Remi...What ever happened to the sweet girl I knew and loved!" She's like France no? Always so dramatic...

"She's still here." I smiled. "She just wants to kill you now."

"Y'know...you should really cosplay as Russia! Just add a few 'kol's in there and you'd be just like him!...Except shorter. But seriously! What do you want for Christmas?"

"You really want to get me something?" I'm touched...she'd usually drop it by now. Maybe she really does care?

"Yeah! WAIT...I have the perfect gift!" Does she have to yell in my ear? I'm gonna be deaf by high school. "You're going to love them!" Them? "I just need to borrow your laptop? Please?"

"Sure whatever...And what do you mean by the-"

"Oh hey! It's our stop!" She then grabbed me out of the seat, down the aisle, and off the bus.

* * *

We walked around the corner the bus left us at. Mari's still going on about how she needs to use the Internet...I hope she isn't going to buy me something off of E-Bay or something stupid like that. I remember the last time we tried to order something off there. It never came. Mari was so bummed out that she started to tear up. After the water works, she then yelled that she would curse their souls. I really hope that she has learned her lesson by now.

"So yeah! That's the plan!...Aren't you gonna open the door? It's, like, freezing!" Oh yeah...Er...where are my keys? I quickly patted myself down, but they weren't in there! "Let me guess...you lost your keys?"

"No. I just misplaced them."

"Isn't that the same thing-"

"No."

"Good thing you gave me a spare huh?" She dangled a silver key in front of my nose. I snatched it from her hand and jammed it into the lock. I opened the door to my house. My home is pretty well sized if I do say so myself! It's got four floors, not including the furnished basement, and enough rooms to a family of ten or so people (I'm guessing that my mom wanted a big family...look how that turned out), not including my mom's room. Or mine. Mari and I walked up the stairs to my room and plopped our bags outside the door. We took off our winter coats and hung them up in my closet. Mari then immediately walked over to my laptop and turned it on.

"How do you know my password?"

"'Cause I know you~"

"Then what is it?" She grinned.

"It's 'enlgandisasmexybeast-'"

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"Hah! Your face is all red!" I put my hand to my cheek. Damn it! It is...

"Whatever. But what do you need my laptop for?"

"It's a secret! Now go get me something that will take about...twenty minutes?" What.

"No. Go get your own thing!"

She whined and pouted at me. Hah! Like that would work again!...Okay maybe it will. "Fine. I'll go order take out or something." She beamed at me then turned her attention back to the laptop screen.

* * *

A few days after that, it was holiday break! Finally! No homework, no Walker, no seventh graders hitting me with their books (Respect your elders!)...This is gonna be great-

**DING-DONG!**"Remi! It's me!" Huh? Oh yeah...Should I mention that since that my mom isn't here for weeks, she hired a house keeper for me? Tch...She thinks I can't take care of myself! I've been fine on my own for who knows how long! I can handle anything that comes my way...Except for Mari...I might need some help with that...

"Remi! Open the door! It's freezing out here!" Oh yeah forgot about her. I got up from the couch and opened the door. There stood Semieon Pultzer, my care taker person. She was twenty four and happily married. She was really pretty with her dark skin and dark brown eyes. She's very easy going and loves kids. She actually told me that her husband wants to have kids in the near future. I think they would be cute!

Semieon smiled warmly and gave a tight hug. Gah...can't breath.

"M-Mrs. Pultzer...You're crushing me..."

"Oh! I'm sorry dear," She released me from her grip. "Well? Aren't you going to let me in? Or let us freeze?"

"Sorry!" I let her in and closed the door. Semieon took off her coat and boots, handing her fluffy warm coat to me. "I'll go hand this up in the guest room." She nodded and made her way to the kitchen. I walked up the stairs to the guest room to put away her coat. I could here her messing in the kitchen. She's probably going to make me something to eat for the week. She hasn't been here in a while so for food I was left on my own for a while. I went back down stairs to see her looking in the refrigerator and taking various things out. I sat down at the island and waited for her to say something. I was never really good at starting conversation...

"So do you have any homework to do over the break? Anything troubling you at school?"

"Nope! I'm free for the whole break. And Mr. Walker is being the usual jerk."

She chuckled at this, "Ah...I remember having this teacher being a pain. But I passed her class with flying colors! And you'll do the same Remi dear."

"Yeah..." WAIT...Did she say 'us' earlier? At the door? "Mrs. Pultzer?"

"Yes dear?"

"A-Are you...um...pregnant?"

"..." She turned to me with a smile on her face. I gasped. Ohmaigosh.

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!" I lept out of my seat and gave her a hug, being mindful of her stomach of course. "I-I can't believe this! You've been talking about this for so long and now it's finally happened and I'm so happy for you and I can't wait to see what you child will turn out to be like-will it be like you or will it be like Mr. Pultzer or both gosh I hope both your husband is so brave-" Her hand clapped over my mouth to stop my never ending sentence.

"Remi! Calm down!" I took a few shaky breaths.

"...You're pregnant..." A smile worked its way over my face. "I'm so happy for you...You've been waiting forever..."

"Yes I-..._we_ have..."

"You're going to be a great mother...I can just tell..."

She hummed and broke out of the embrace. "I just found out a few weeks ago." She didn't tell me until now? Well...I am just a kid after all...She probably has other people to tell first...yeah...

"Let's make you something to at hmm?" She poked at my ribs making me giggle. "You need more meat on your bones dear!" Huh? I think I'm perfectly normal with my weight...Well maybe I can stand to gain a few pounds.

"Yeah...I'm starved!"

* * *

After we ate, Mrs. Pultzer made some sandwiches and went on her way home. I watched her go out the window and waved bye when she turned the corner. Hmm...She's probably the only person who I could actually call 'Mom'...

_'Always~ I wanna be with you~ And make believe with you~ And live in harmony, harmony~ OH LOVE~!'_

I jumped at my ringtone. Mari changed it again didn't she? That girl...I went over to the coffee table and picked it up. I saw that it was Mari and answered.

"Hello?"

_"Remi! I have a surprise for you."_

I rolled my eyes, "What is it this time?"

_"You'll find out soon enough! In about five minutes!"_ I heard a voice asking to turn here. _"No the next one."_

"Who's that?"

_"..." _I heard a few words being exchanged. _"His name is Floyd." _Did she not know his name? Er...Floyd? Don't here that name often. I saw a delivery truck from the living room window and stared. Is that Mari?

_"Okay we're here! Now stay inside until I ring the doorbell 'kay?"_

"Uh huh..." What did she get me...I hung up and stared as Mari hopped out of the truck and went around back, a tall guy following her. Must be 'Floyd' she was talking about. Floyd opened up the back of the truck and hopped in. He came back out carrying a box that /had/ to be at least six feet long if not bigger. He put the box on a cart and followed Mari as she made her way up my drive way and to my door.

**DING-DONG!**

"Remi! Open up! Floyd's gonna get frost bite!" I heard a muffled male's voice go 'Am not!' I opened the door for the second time today and glared at Mari. She just smiled at me and hugged me, letting her head rest on mine.

"Remi! I got you a gift. It's a great gift! Um...Now can I borrow ten bucks?" I pulled away from her.

"Why?"

"Well I gotta pay Floyd for driving me here somehow!" I looked at Floyd and he just held his hand out.

I sighed and dug around in my pockets, pulling out my wallet. I gave Floyd two fives and he pocketed them. "Can you bring that inside for me?"

He nodded and rolled the cart into the living room next to the chaise. Tch...Bastard didn't even take off his shoes! Floyd then walked out, got in his truck and left...How come I have the feeling I gonna be seeing him more often then not? I closed the door after Mari walked in and sat next to the box. Mari stood over me waiting for me to do something.

"Well? Aren't you gonna open it?" I just looked up at her and stared.

"You mad at me?"

"..." *glare*

"But I got you a present!"

"...Want me to open it?" I rolled my eyes and stared at the box again. Huh...Why does it have air holes? And a lock with chains? And why does it say 'WARNING. READ MANUAL BEFORE OPENING.'? The hell did Mari get me? I looked over the box and saw a plastic bag taped to it. I ripped it off and opened it to reveal its contents.

IVAN BRAGINSKI: User Guide and Manual

...What

...The

...FU-

"Merry Christmas!" I glared at her...Let's just say that there was a book case next to me...And that I grabbed a book...And threw it at her...And it hit her in the stomach...So that's why she's now rolling around the floor in pain.

* * *

After that, I read through the manual while Mari was next to me whining about 'where she went wrong', that 'I was so cute when we were together' (which earned her a slap to the back of her head), and 'God this hurts!'...Okay maybe I went a little 'overboard'. But I gave her a cookie after it! So that fixes everything yes?

After I read through the manual I wondered what the hell I was gonna do with...Russia? That's a very strange thought...So how to go about this...I don't speak Russian so that's not gonna work...The second one won't work. I don't wanna get hurt!...Damn! They all might end badly...Guess I'll just go with the last one...I put the manual down and took hold of the lock. I took the key that came in the plastic bag, put it in the lock and twisted it. Mari stopped her whimpering and looked a little nervous. The lock came off so I just put that aside. I looked towards the blond next to me.

"You ready?"

"It's Russia...How can I be ready?"

"Good point..." We both started to remove the heavy chains. I swallowed and grabbed my side of the cover while Mari grabbed hers. We looked at each other, knowing that this_ might _be the last time that we'll see each other unharmed.

"On the count of three?"

I nodded, "One..."

"Two..."

"Thr-"

"WAIT!"

"What?" I panicked. "What's wrong?"

"...Can I have a kiss?" She looked so hopeful...

"No."

"Damn. Okay ready?" I nodded again. We lifted the cover to reveal a large and pale Russian that was the famous Ivan Braginski A.K.A. Russia. He was lying face-up, breathing softly. He looked so...peaceful...and kinda cute. I looked to Mari. She looked like she was either going to run away, or fangirl about seeing Russia in real life. She whispered to me, "He looks so life like! So cute!...Yet he'd probably kill us in our sleep if we piss him off." Way to be subtle Mari...

I poked Ivan's cheek. He twitched and Mari stiffened beside me. He turned on his side and kept on sleeping. I poked him again and said, "Hey...M-Mr. Ivan? Time to wake up..." I kept poking him...Still nothing. I got slightly exasperated. Is he a heavy sleeper or what? Damn. I still was poking him when his hand shot out and grabbed my wrist...FU-!

"Why are you poking me?" Came the childish Russian voice. He opened one violet eye and stared at me waiting for a response. "I was having such a nice dream, da?" His grip on my wrist tightened. Oh god! It's starting to hurt! I looked to my right where Mari was-gone? Where's Mari? Help me damn it! I don't want to die! A shut my eyes and whimpered as Russia's grip kept tightening, squeezing my wrist bones together.

"I-I-I'm sorry for waking you up M-Mr. Braginski, sir! C-Can you let go of my hand now? You're gonna b-break it..."

He looked at me and smiled sadistically, "But naughty children need to be punished, da? You should know better than to interrupt one's sleep." Ivan sat up, still not releasing his grip. He stood up, dragging me with him. I was forced to stand up with with or have my shoulder dislocated. He looked around and hummed. "You live here? Where are your parents?"

"M-Mom's working and my dad's in England." I feel like crying! He's gonna kill me!

"Hah?" He tilted his head. He looked like a child that was asked to do long division. "You're alone? All by yourself?" He giggled. "This is good, da?" NO, NOT DA! Wait...maybe I can give him something?

"Mr. Russia? If you let me go, I'll go get you vodka! You like vodka, yeah?" He looked intrigued. Please by it!

"Vodka? Da! I'll let you go." He released his hold on my wrist. I immediately held it to my chest with my other one. I touched the red area and hissed. I'm definitely have a bruise there. I looked back up at Ivan to see that he had couched down to look in his box. He grabbed something that looked like a bottle. Ivan smiled up at me and I flinched. He stood up to his full height, which had to be more than six feet. He lifted the bottle up to my eyes.

"I want this brand, da?" I don't think that brand is popular here in America. I nodded and made a note to go shopping soon. Let's see, where would they have-

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" Mari came running through the door and lifted up some brown paper bags. "I offer you vodka as a peace treaty! So don't hurt her!" She went to get vodka?...Wait how?

"Ah! Thank you comrade!" Russia walked over to Mari to get the bags from her hands. She ran to give me a protective hug.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you? God I'm such an idiot for leaving you two alone! Please forgive me!" She pulled away and saw the quickly forming bruise on my injured wrist. Mari looked crestfallen as she gently grabbed it and brought it to her eye level. "Does it hurt?" She's so worried...

"A little..." Might as well tell the truth. Why lie? She looked down at me and hugged me again whispering how sorry she was. "Mari...It's okay. I'm fine-!"

"Da! She is fine comrade Mari! I didn't squeeze to hard!" We both turned to see Russia drinking from one of the many bottles Mari got him. She growled in her throat and tightened her grip on me. She's so protective now, how long is this going to last? Russia just stood there and drank from the bottle again. About one third was gone from the bottle already! How does he do that?

Mari turned around to face me again and her glare softened to a worried gaze. "You sure you're fine Remi? Nothing's broken?"

I smiled, "No. Nothing's broken." She's such a softie..."Um...Russia?"

"Da Remi?"

"Um...You can go pick out a room on the second floor if you want. There's a room that has yellow walls. You can have that one."

"Thank you comrade Remi!" He turned and put his bags of vodka in the box he came in. He lifted it and walked up the stairs. Mari and I were left alone in silence.

"Th-That was kinda scary." I pulled away from her and wondered how I'm going to feed Ivan. I walked into the kitchen and pulled out a book of recipes from around the world that Semieon keeps here. She's so multicultural I wonder if I should tell her about Hetalia. I think that she would probably like it. "So is this my gift?"

Mari followed me and sat herself on the counter eyeing the knife drawer. "E-Er...He's part of it. I didn't know that he would come first though." She looked sheepish. "So Floyd told me that the next one should come tomorrow!"

I paused in flipping through the Russian dishes. I looked up at her, "There's more?"

"Yup! The ad said that the Allies should come first, then the Axis, and then the rest." Hmm. That's about eight or so people...There should be enough room. A little cramped but...What can you do?

"How am I going to pay for this? Won't I have to pay for this?"

"Got that taken care of! Look!" She pulled an envelope from her pocket. She ripped it open and pulled out three one hundred dollar bills. WHAT? I gasped and dropped the book.

"PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T ROB A BANK!" Wouldn't be the first time she stole something...N-No comment.

"Of course not! You see, this whole Hetalia characters is a project that some genius people came up with! And I won a contest to 'test-drive' them! So the company in gonna send me money every month. And of course as the characters keep coming in, the amount of money they send in is gonna grow!" She finished with a goofy grin on her face.

"Okay...So that's taken care of I guess." I picked up the book again and flipped through, trying to find where I left off. I guess I could make Borscht...seems simple enough and I have everything it calls for. "I'm gonna make Borscht for Ivan...Hopefully he won't try to break my arm if I do it wrong."

"Want me to help you? I can cook!"

"No. You _can't_!"

"Yeah I ca-!"

"You failed at making cereal!"

"It wasn't that ba-!"

"IT BURST INTO FLAMES! HOW IS THAT _NOT_ BAD?"

* * *

Okay! FINALLY! An update! :3 I have no excuse for being _this_ late -_-; I feel bad for letting few (but totally awesome!) people wait for me to stop being lazy. I would marry you all...but I have no money to support all of you :( Ahh~...This was actually _way _longer then I planned. But I'm not used to writing stuff that long so I'll cut it up for you guys. I have the other half of this done, but I'll put it up as it's own chappie :D _But_...I want at least _THREE _more reviews kay? Just to make me feel special :3 And I have four days off so I'll probably work on chapter four then. Questions? Comments? Flames? Send them my way! (and maybe I'll be motivated enough to update Conference at Who? (Go read it if you haven't! It's about Canada after the Olympics.) if I get enough reviews...who knows?) Also I think someone mentioned that it was going a bit slow but don't worry! It will definitely speed up now! And if anyone wants to guess the name of Remi's ringtone...I'll do something special for you!

Much Love, remi neko chan~


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! I love all of you! I would marry you guys, but I am not of legal age yet :C BUT OUR LOVE SHALL PREVAIL! ... *nervous laugh*...AND I FIND THAT RUSSIA SINGING IS THE CUTEST THING EVAR!...Even though it may seem like it at times, there will not be any romantic relationships between my characters and the actual characters of Hetalia...as much as it may seem in this chapter -_-; (You'll see if you read it :3 ) Okay shutting up now. Just read the chapter already :3

Disclaimer: Have I been putting one of these in here before? Oh well...Don't sue me 'cause I'm too poor D: You'd probably get...A pencil and my innocence...oh wait never mind that last one :3 I own nothing~! ...but if I did...*dirty thoughts* :3 I also don't own the song Pupsik by Tina Karol. I got the song from a Fem!Russia vid. The creator is SkadiPirate. I totally recommend that you go see some vids that they have! They're pretty good! Really! Go watch them now!...After you read my chapter of course :D

* * *

After making the Borscht, I made Mari try it. She gave me a thumbs up and said that 'it was the best Borscht she ever had.'

"You mean that?"

"Yep!"

"Wait...It's probably the only Borscht you ever had!" She laughed and asked for a bowl for herself. I ladled some in a white bowl for her and she went to sit down at the dining room table when she stopped. Mari looked at me and we both knew that we had to go get Russia from his room. We both nodded and walked up the stairs to the second floor. We walked towards the end of the hall, our footsteps not making a sound on the carpet. "I told him to take the yellow one right? So he should be in here." Mari nodded and looked ready to pounce if something went wrong. I lifted my hand to the doorknob and was about to turn when singing reached our ears. It sounded like Ivan! Mari turned to me and raised an eyebrow.

"Is that him?" she whispered. I shushed her and listened to the words.

"Solntse, paslusay, solntse~ Tvaya ulibka mileye fsyoh~ eh~ Solntse, ya nye revnuyu~ Yaznayu clojna lubit takuyu~

Da, da, da~ Lublu tibya~ Da, da, da~ Lublu tibya~ Da, da, da~ Lublu tibya~ Da, da, da~ Lublu tibya~

Pupsik, moy sladkiy pupsik~ Davay za rucku gulat stavoy~ oy~ Pupsik, moy sladkiy pupsik~ Ya na kray svyeta, uydu stavoy~"

His voice...It sounds kinda nice...Mari knocked on the door, making Ivan stop in the middle of the song. I snapped my head around to look at her. Is she crazy? The door swung open revealing a certain Russian glaring down at me. I inched backward and looked up at him. Why does he have to be so tall? And intimidating?

"Da? What do you want?" Mari poked his shoulder to get his attention.

"Remi over here made you dinner. Now go eat it. It's Borscht." She sounded so cold when Mari said that. I turned to face Ivan again. He looked surprised at her behaviour. Then he smiled that creepy smile of his.

"Comrade Remi made me something to eat? Thank you." He turned towards me and placed his hand on top of my head and pet me. Mari instantly bristled beside me.

"It's down stairs if you want any...I hope it's to your l-liking." He pressed down slightly on my head.

"Hmm~ I will be the judge of that, da?" He let go and pushed past Mari to go down the stairs. We followed at a distance with Mari slightly in front of me. Seems like it's going to be a while until I can walk in _my own house_ without being scared out of my wits.

* * *

I spooned Ivan a bowl of the Borscht and set it down in front of him. He nodded his thanks and waited. What's he waiting for?

"Are you not going to eat Remi?" Oh...

"Um. I'm not hungry-"

"But you should eat, da?" Russia smiled. "You're so tiny and skinny!" Mari mumbled something under her breath that sounded like 'and maybe you should eat less, you fat commie bastard.' Luckily for her Ivan didn't here that.

I watched as Ivan shrugged and lifted the spoon up to his mouth. He continued to do this as I watched.

"Remi." I jumped.

"Y-Yes?"

"Are you going to watch me eat? It is not polite to stare."

"I just want t-to know how it is..."

He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "It is good, da? Now stop staring."

"Okay..." I took a quick glance at Mari only to find that she was staring at me. When I met her gaze she blushed and continued to eat. Weird...

"Remi? Do you want some of mine?" I looked up at the bowl being offered by Ivan. "Do you want me to feed you?" He looks so innocent asking that...I yelped as he pulled me into his lap. The _hell_? "Now say 'Ahh'!" I could see Mari glaring daggers at the Russian. I even heard a growl from her...My thoughts were interrupted by a spoon at my lips. I opened my mouth so that he could put the spoon in my mouth. The only reason I even did that was so I could _LIVE_! He took the spoon out of my mouth. "You are a good cook, da? You would make a good wife when you get older!" WHAT THE FU-!

I looked towards Mari to see her twitching. She stood up, pushing her chair back and took her bowl with her. "Thank you Remi. The Borscht was good. I'll wash the dishes 'kay?" She didn't give me a chance to repsond as she turned around and walked into the kitchen. I was about to call for her when there was another spoon at my lips.

"Open up, da?" Enough of this!

"Ivan. I told you I'm not hungry! Stop this-!" I felt a hand make its way to the side of my neck and give a quick squeeze.

"What was that comrade?" I opened my mouth. "Thought so!" He shoved the spoon in my mouth, almost making me choke. Damn it all! He continued to feed me until the bowl was empty. "See? Now you are full and happy, da?" I nodded. Where did Mari go? Is she still in the kitchen? I couldn't tell since I wasn't facing the door. I felt a certain Russian's hand to pet my head. _AGAIN._

"You are so cute comrade! You will become one with Russia when you are of age, da?" WHAT? FUCK THIS SHIT!

"AW HELL NO! I'm gonna have you arrested bastard!" There's Mari! "I just got off the phone Remi. My dad said that I could stay." She pulled on my arm, trying to remove me from the large Russian's lap. "Okay...You can let her go now Ivan..." She pulled again, but Ivan just kept his hold on me. Damn it! This is not fun at all! I'm not a rag doll!

"But comrade Remi is warm! It's like summer, da?" Why is it weird I can practically _hear_ him pouting like a child instead of acting like a grown man?

"G-guys..."

"It doesn't matter! Let her go!" She pulled.

"Nyet." He kept his hold. "kolkolkolkolkol." Mari froze. DAMN IT MARI! She looked at me then sighed letting my arm go.

"Fine...I'm gonna go take a shower..." She started to leave when she turned and glared at Russia. "BUT IF I HEAR ANY CRIES OF PAIN I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU!" Then she left for real muttering things about 'stupid Russians.'

"Hah? That was easy, da?" He wrapped his arms around my waist. "But do not worry comrade Remi! She will be part of Russia too!" He continued to pet my hair. "But first you have to learn to speak Russian, da?" I don't want to! It's a scary language...like German...Except Germany won't try to make me 'Become one with him'!

Great...I'm stuck with not one, but TWO nutcases!

* * *

Finally, Ivan decided to let me go. I went down to the living room and sat down on the couch. I reached for the remote to turn on the television to take my mind off things. Mari came down wearing her pjs and joined me. She's kinda sitting close though. Ivan came down soon after with just some jogging pants and a black t-shirt on. His hair looked slightly wet so I guess that he went to go take a shower as well. He sat on the other side of me. I could feel the glares Mari was aiming at Ivan above my head. He just sat there (although I think I heard a few 'kol's under his breath...) The tension's gonna kill me I _swear_!

"Hey guys?" I gotta get away...just clear my head for a moment.

"Da?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna go take a shower...Please don't kill each other..."

"We won't." They said that at the same time...Creepy much? I left them to fight over the remote. I sighed and made my way up stairs. I stopped at my room first to grab something to wear when I get out. I grabbed a nightgown and some shorts and went to go take my shower.

* * *

Ahh...I feel so much better! So relaxed...I reached my arms towards the ceiling and heard a few cracks. I made my way downstairs to see if they broke anything (or each other). I peeked over the railing to see that they were laughing! And being civil! Who are they and what have they done with Mari and Ivan? (I wouldn't mind if Ivan was gone though)

"-really? She really did that?"

"Totally! Ahaha! Her face was so red! It was so cute!" Que? Are they talking about me?

"What are you two talking about?" They looked towards me.

"Heya Remi! We were just talking about the time when we played truth or dare at that sleepover a few years ago!" OH GOD NO.

"Comrade Remi? Did you really have your first kiss with a girl you had a crush on?" I looked towards Mari in horror. (Who was mumbling something about 'why wasn't it me?' with a slight pout.)

"Why'd you tell him that?"

"'Cause your blush is so effin' cute!" Damn you Mari! Stop telling creepy Russians my secrets!...AND I'M NOT CUTE!

"You think I am creepy comrade?" Oh shit, I said that out loud didn't I? I'm so not gonna live to graduate High School...

"Of course she thinks you're creepy!" Mari to the rescue!...Kinda "You told her that she would be 'one with Russia'! Anyone would be_ atleast_a bit unnerved!...But since it's Remi...her inner coward would show-OOF!" My fist met her stomach again. She _really _should learn to keep her mouth shut...It's beginning to be hazardous to her health (and mine!).

"But _all_will be come one with Russia!...Except Belarus..." A slight shudder came from the hulking Russian. "S-She can stay away." Aww...He looks kinda cute!...And deadly...

Mari moved over and patted the cushion beside her. I took the offered seat between the large Russian and the now over-protective blond. There was a (slightly) comfortable silence as we watched tv. I guess I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know is that I'm being carried up the stairs by something large...and smells faintly like Vodka...WHY IS IVAN CARRYING ME? And where the hell's Mari?

"Hey careful with her! She's fragile!" Oh there she is. And I'm not fragile!...I-I'm just small for my age...

"I am being careful comrade. Now be quiet before you wake her up." Too late for that...

As Ivan continued to carry me up the stairs (with Mari following close behind), I thought about everything that has happened these past days. Mari being over protective, Ivan almost crushing my wrist, Semion being pregnant...It's all so much...Up until now, my life has been kinda boring...Even _with _Mari around, she can't stay every single day. She has other friends, her parents, sports...And I'm stuck with nothing...It just seems like it would be better to just...float away...just to sleep forever, not have to wake up from blissful ignorance to the horrible world around me. But...I have such a future for me! I'm a straight A student and I have a clean record. Between staying here, in this messed up world, and to just go away...the cons out way the pros by so much. And no doubt Mari would blame herself...I-I just couldn't put her through that...I love her...Just not that much anymore...She's still a precious friend. And I wouldn't want to lose her. I bet she would blame herself for what I did. I just couldn't put her through that trouble just to satisfy my own selfish desires.

Hm? Oh...Ivan's putting down in my bed. I heard a few whispers between Mari and Ivan. If only they were talking a bit louder...Well I can't read their lips since I'm supposed to be 'sleeping'.

"Comrade Remi? You aren't really asleep are you?" Uh oh...I've been caught with my hands in the cookie jar I guess. I opened my eyes and smiled sheepishly and leaned up on my elbows.

"Well, you two caught me. But...You really didn't have to carry me up the stairs. I must weigh a lot-"

"Ha! You weigh a lot?" Mari ruffled my hair. "More like you don't weigh anything at all, Remi-chan!" ...The -chan is never going to completely stop is it?

"Da, Comrade Remi. You weigh nothing. I told you that you should have eaten more of you yummy Borscht. Which I want again for another meal." I'm not a housewife! You can't just tell me to make you dinner!...Of course I didn't tell him that out loud. He's too damn tall and frightening!

"Ahahaha-NO. More Hetalia units are going to be on their way Commie, so you better like other foods then your own." Tell him Mari!

"Ah? What about Yao's food? I can eat that (and him)." ...Wait wha-?

"Yeah yeah whatever Commie. Just go to bed already." And with that, Ivan finally made his way out of my room...Hopefully he stays out. "Remi?"

"Yes Mari?"

"...Do you want me to sleep with you?" ...

"Sure whatever." Makes you happy. "J-Just stay on that side!" I moved over to the side of my bed closest to the wall. Mari looked stunned for a moment then lifted the blankets to crawl underneath them. She must_ not heard me_ when I told her to keep to her own side because the next thing I know is that she has her arms around my waist, pulling me into her chest so that she was...'spooning' me...I could feel her breath in my hair as she took calming breaths to urge her too sleep. This...actually feels nice. She's so warm...And...I suddenly feel so relaxed and...calm...With that last thought, I drifted off to a peaceful respite...

* * *

:D OMG I UPDATED FINALLY? It's a miracle! Ah~...Yeah I apologize about the wait. When I was gonna post this about 2-3 days ago...I didn't like it...at ALL. So I had to fix it...over and over...and over...and then edit it myself...then scrap it again...and so on and so on :3 So this is actually the one that I'm most happy with. (it took 4 TRIES! *dies* ) So hopefully all you guys agree with me! ALSO! I have a poll on my profile! It's about who should arrive next! Please PLEASE go vote! I already know who's coming next but I want to know who to do after that! So once again, Review! I love to hear what yo guys think! It makes me happy! :D

Much Love, remi neko chan


	4. An Apology not edited

Um... I have no explanation for this long delay...But on the off chance that this WILL be updated, I would like to offer a sincere apology. As you may have noticed, it's almost summer... And this fic was set in winter... of last year. So I have no motivation to continue as of right now. And so this fic is going on HIATUS. I'm sorry for those who have waited for me to update. But I do have some good news! I will be taking requests for those who have added this story to their fav's and those that have reviewed! But remember! First come first serve! M'kay? So either PM me or drop a request in a review. And I'm not quite sure if I mentioned this before, but if you take a peek at my profile thingy, you'd see that I am working on a GermanyXItalyXCanada fic! -smirks- And if there's smut, Canada will be bottoming~...or topping 'cause he makes a SMEXY seme! -laughs- Okay anyway um... Yeah I can't think of anyting else. Once again I am deeply sorry for the long wait! Now just because this is going on HIATUS doesn't mean that I'm quiting this story! Not at all! I just don't feel motivated since the fic was set in the winter of about Christmas time and it's summer now... Anyway much thanks to all those that put in a review, favorited, added an alert, etc etc... Take care!

Much Love, remi neko chan 


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